


Old Habits

by WinterSorceress



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 11:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSorceress/pseuds/WinterSorceress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a simple mission in the desert that was steadily growing in complication.</p><p>As feelings for the other rear their head, so does something else much less desirable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Habits

**Author's Note:**

> Another drabble written for my dear [Celestialalignment](http://celestialalignment.tumblr.com/). She suggested the prompt quote "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

“Pearl, wait! Come back!”

She must have really messed up this time. However, what was even more distressing was the fact that she had little idea what transgression she had committed to upset her. But most worrying of all were the injuries she surely must have sustained, and all in her defense.

It was a simple mission in the desert that was steadily growing in complication.

Trailing behind her comrade, Lapis Lazuli cursed those long legs, which carried her so easily over the sand while her own stumbled over the shifting dunes. The dry heat weakened her water magic, but she would have to manage just to catch her. Summoning her strength, and what water vapor survived there, the blue gem’s wings formed, hardly hesitating a moment to carry her aloft with a few easy beats.

“Pearl!” she called once again, this time as she darted after the fleeing pearl. And this time, it was only a matter of seconds before she blocked her path. Now before her, the pale gem appeared winded, her turquoise eyes wild with regret and wet with tears. Sensing her desire to flee even still, Lapis snatched her delicate wrists gently. “Please…don’t. It’s alright. Please tell me what’s wrong. What’d I do? I’m willing to make it up to–”

“It’s not you…” Pearl muttered, almost too quietly for her to detect. She may have answered but she refused to regard her, to meet her wondering gaze. “I’m so stupid. I told myself never again. I thought I was doing better, but it seems…well, it seems I was wrong.”

What she was referring to was beyond her fellow gem, but that didn’t stop her growing concern. Lightly with her free hand, she brushed the bruises that now sparsely adorned her pale face. However, she drew back, noticing how the pearl seemed to flinch at her touch, though whether consciously or out of reflex, she wasn’t certain.

“…You’re not stupid, Pearl. You’re my friend, no matter our past,” Lapis protested, being mindful of every reaction the other gave, from the flashes of emotion through her brilliant eyes to the shifts in her expression. She didn’t know what was troubling her, but she sure as hell was determined to find its cause. “And like any good friend, I want to help you, whatever it is. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think–”

For a long moment, Pearl was silent, staring intently at the sand between them. “…I’m scared, Lapis. I don’t know what to do…” she finally uttered.

Once again, the water gem was left clueless, though she remained stubborn in her resolve all the more. Whatever threatened her peace of mind, she would fend it off, without fail. She owed her that much, at least.

Hoping to communicate her support, she tentatively squeezed the slender hand in her cool grasp. “Pearl…”

To her surprise, the pearl met her gaze at that, eyes brimming with tears. “Lapis, I…I think I’m in love with you…and I’m terrified."

Well, she was certainly one for the unexpected. “…O-oh…” was all she could manage in her initial shock. Then, color swam to her cheeks along with a flush of heat. Internally, she struggled to control herself, not wanting to upset Pearl further, seeming on the outside to barely flinch. “I…Well…I see.”

Obviously ashamed about her infatuation, the taller girl averted her eyes, turning her head away, seemingly bracing herself for either anger or rejection or both.

Recovering, Lapis forced out a laugh. “S-see? Not so bad. I am pretty fantastic, I suppose. It’s easy to have the hots for a gem like myself. No need to be so upset,” she assured, despite still processing this predictment. To be honest, her stomach was now inhabited by a swarm of butterflies, or whatever humans called them. Pearl was pretty desirable herself, and to hear that she potentially desired to enter a relationship…was nearly overwhelming to take in all at once. Fighting down nerves, she hastily feigned a cooler head than hers actually was. “Give yourself some credit though, you’re pretty…well, pretty, and smart, and…”

It seemed Pearl had a habit of cutting people off when upset; duely noted. “It’s not that either…” she interrupted intensely, despite her quietness. “I…don’t have….a healthy history…when it comes to relationships. Rose Quartz…could’ve told you that, after all the stunts I pulled…like I just did…with you.”

This time, Lapis Lazuli was wordless, slightly stunned.

“I promised myself…I promised _them_ I would take better care of myself…” Pearl chuckled dryly then, wiping a wet cheek wth a half-hearted smile. “It seems I can’t even do _that_ right.

Pearl’s revelation left the other Gem very dumbstruck. This was the kind of struggle that could never be spotted from the outside. Accordingly, Lapis had no idea her new comrade had this sort of demon lurking at her shoulder. Then again, when she thought about it, it was more obvious than she wanted to admit. Free pearls tended to have a long track record on Home World, consisting of severe self-esteem issues and self-sacrifical tendencies. It seemed that even the Crystal Gems’ resident pearl, engineer, swordmaster, and beloved guardian, had failed to escape the curse of her sisters.

The only solace she took from that knowledge was that Pearl cared greatly for her, abeit enough to be willing to do anything to protect her, at least unchecked, though if it cost Pearl her well-being...

Such a terrible possibility…

Her silence did not go unnoticed. "Lapis? Are…What’s wrong, dear?” questioned the pale gem, as though her distress was the only one worth fretting about. She approached, already apologetic. “I’m…I’m terribly sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“…Idiot…”

“I…I beg your–”

Lapis surrendered to her emotions, giving up on a logical alternative. Despite her size, she threw her arms around her comrade in an all-encompassing embrace. There, she squeezed her tightly, burying her face into her shoulder. There, the pearl could not see her fighting back tears and use her grief as a distraction from her own strife.

The pearls’ hardship was so different when one loved one like a sister. It was not so easy to ignore as a lower gem’s problem, not even close. Living with the Crystal Gems had turned her world upside down and opened her eyes to a whole new one.

Though, if it meant being here with Pearl, being there for her, then she gladly accepted it.

“If you ever pull that again, I’ll smack you upside the head…for the both of us…deal?”

There was a thoughtful pause. “…Fair enough,” Pearl agreed. “It sounds…like a reasonable solution…”

After all, the pearl’s feelings were quite mutual, her beloved Pearl.


End file.
